Favourite poems pt. 12

Ezra Pound - epigraph to Lustra

And the days are not full enough

And the nights are not full enough

And life slips by like a field mouse

                Not shaking the grass.

Woven Hand.

Favourite poems pt.11

Emily Dickinson - Hope is the Thing with Feathers
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land
And on the strangest sea;
Yet never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Simian

Many, many years ago, when MTV still played music videos, there was a show called MTV:New presented by a blonde scandinavian guy called Lars or something like that. It was through that show that I discovered many a good band, the most important of them is Simian. Back in 2001 I saw the video for One Dimension and completely fell in love. Later that year I managed to see them live in Amsterdam (Crossing Border festival) and it was seriously the best thing I'd ever heard/seen. They are still the best live band I've ever had the fortune of watching, my favourite gig was at the 2002 edition of London Calling, again in Amsterdam. I think I probably forced Simian on almost all of my friends, and I don't remember a single person disliking them!

Nowadays, many people are aware of Simian Mobile Disco, but don't know that they were once a band (although the Mobile Disco is obviously two people and there were four in Simian). And even when they do know they were a band, this is usually because of their last album, We Are Your Friends and the songs "La Breeze" and "Never Be Alone". I love that album and those songs, they are wonderful, but nothing compared to their earlier stuff. Simian started out as more of an electro-folk outfit, making incredibly beautiful, small, heartwarming/breaking songs. Here are some of my favourites:


The Wisp


Round and Around


Turn Around


Over the Hills


Reasons

young person's guide to classical music

For a while I'd been toying with the idea of making a blog dedicated solely to classical music. I find the internet (and other media) to really be lacking in places for young people who love classical music to go. There aren't many blogs about classical music that I find particularely inspiring (although I love John Adams' blog so much, and The Rest is Noise will always be one of my favourite websites) and very few that talk about classical music specifically from the viewpoint of someone young (and by young I mean under 35). And I decided that instead of complaining about it I should just try to contribute something. So here is my new blog: A Young Person's Guide to Classical Music. There's two posts on there that I wrote today, and I will try to post every monday (and as always, feedback is appreciated).

I will still continue to post in this blog though, don't worry!

The Sorrows of Young Werther

There's a lot of books that I love. Usually when someone asks me for my absolute favourite I go for The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco, because it sort of has everything I love (well-written, nerdy, murder mystery, crazy-ass church things, mentions of Abelard etc), but that's not the book I want to talk about today. I was thinking about how all art forms can make the world a more beautiful place, and there are certainly some books that have done this for me. One of the first books that really wowed me because of the beauty of language is Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther (Die Leiden des jungen Werther).

The book is a series of letters that Werther sends to his friend Wilhelm, he mainly talks about the village he is staying at and about the girl he falls in love with, Lotte. And really, nothing much happens in the book at all but you don't even notice, because Goethe was such an extraordinary writer. You get dragged into the story and into the emotions and the love, and for me the book was nearly impossible to put down. The language is very colourful and I know there will be plenty of people who find it overly flamboyant but well, that just sucks for them.

I know that the book promted copycat suicides (Werther effect anyone?) and the story is incredibly sad, Werther is a miserable young man, but still, I find the book to be of almost unparalleled beauty. Here are some passages that I love (difficult to pick any, every page is quotable!):

In other respects I am very well off here. Solitude in this terrestrial paradise is a genial balm to my mind, and the young spring cheers with its bounteous promises my oftentimes misgiving heart. Every tree, every bush, is full of flowers; and one might wish himself transformed into a butterfly, to float about in this ocean of perfume, and find his whole existence in it.

[...]

In vain do I stretch out my arms toward her when I awaken in the morning from my weary slumbers. In vain do I seek for her at night in my bed, when some innocent dream has happily deceived me, and placed her near me in the fields, when I have seized her hand and covered it with countless kisses. And when I feel for her in the half confusion of sleep, with the happy sense that she is near, tears flow from my oppressed heart; and, bereft of all comfort, I weep over my future woes.

[...]

Oh, the brilliant wretchedness, the weariness, that one is doomed to witness among the silly people whom we meet in society here! The ambition of rank! How they watch, how they toil, to gain precedence! What poor and contemptible passions are displayed in their utter nakedness! We have a woman here, for example, who never ceases to entertain the company with accounts of her family and her estates. Any stranger would consider her a silly being, whose head was turned by her pretensions to rank and property; but she is in reality even more ridiculous, the daughter of a mere magistrate's clerk from this neighbourhood. I cannot understand how human beings can so debase themselves.

[...]

I turned my sorrowful eyes toward a favourite spot, where I was accustomed to sit with Charlotte beneath a willow after a fatiguing walk. Alas! it was covered with water, and with difficulty I found even the meadow. And the fields around the hunting-lodge, thought I. Has our dear bower been destroyed by this unpitying storm? And a beam of past happiness streamed upon me, as the mind of a captive is illumined by dreams of flocks and herds and bygone joys of home! But I am free from blame. I have courage to die! Perhaps I have,—but I still sit here, like a wretched pauper, who collects fagots, and begs her bread from door to door, that she may prolong for a few days a miserable existence which she is unwilling to resign.

If you're interested in reading it, you can actually find it online at the Project Gutenburg here.

Favourite poems pt.10

Anna Ackmatova - To Many
(translation by Sergei Roy)
I am your voice, through me your temper rings,
And I am a reflection of your face.
In vain, the futile flutterings of your wings,
For I will stay with you in any case.

That is the reason you love me so greedily
Me in my feebleness and in my sins,
And that was why you gladly gave to me
The fairest and the finest of your sons.
And that was why in all these endless days
You never asked me where he was; instead
You filled with acrid fumes of empty praise
My house from which its heart and soul had fled.
You plead now: none could be as close to me,
No other love could be as misbegotten...

The way a shadow would from substance flee,
The way the soul aspires the flesh to leave -
That's how, these days, I want to be forgotten.

Music in 2010.

Sorry it has been so long since my last entry, but I am actually working on something that's taking up more time than I figured (but I promise it'll appear on here soon!). But, in the meantime, I thought that it might be a good time to post some end-of-the-year lists, musically related ones that is. Although I don't think I will surprise anyone.

FAVOURITE ALBUMS

1. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Beat the Devil's Tattoo
What a surprise! I really don't think I need to explain just how much I love this band, but I will say that I don't understand why this album doesn't appear in any end of the year lists (then again, I don't think I've ever agreed with any end-of-year lists by music journalists), because it really is a FANTASTIC album. I think it's their best, and that's saying something. It has some of my absolute favourite songs of the year and only one song I don't particularely like (Bad Blood just bores me), it's nice and loud (sorry neighbours) and just so good. Words always fail me when talking about this band. Favourite song: "Half State" is pretty EPIC.



2. Wovenhand - The Threshingfloor
I will never love Wovenhand as much as I love 16 Horsepower. Really, I won't, probably because Wovenhand are just a bit more polished. But this album is wonderful, it's bleak, gloomy but strangely reassuring and warm. Nobody does creepy-and-depressing-yet-comforting as well as David Eugene Edwards, that's for sure.
Favourite song: "The Threshingfloor"

"The Threshingfloor"

3. Foals - Total Life Forever
I love Foals. I find them exciting and inspiring and intriguing and they just make me want to dance. This album is quite different from their first, in that it seems to have more layers and is more complex, yet it also has some of the most poppy songs (Miami, This Orient) they've written. (Un)surprisingly enough, those are really the only two songs I don't love (Miami has grown on me though), all the others are so good and perhaps even beautiful. They also translate so well live, which is always a plus! Favourite song: "What Remains" but I can't seem to find that on youtube, so have my second favourite, "Total Life Forever".



4.Hot Hot Heat - Future Breeds
Not gonna lie, their last album Happines Ltd wasn't so good. I mean, strings that sound like a crappy synthesizer are never a good idea. Ever. Happiness Ltd had some amazing tracks but just less than stellar recordings. But Future Breeds is like good old-fashioned Hot Hot Heat again!! Only.. more mature and maybe even a bit better. It's still happy danceable ridiculously-catchy indie-pop with the familiar vocals of Steve Bays, and sometimes there is really nothing better to listen to. Definitely their best effort since Make up the Breakdown. Favourite song: "Future Breeds"



5. She and Him - Volume Two.
I can't help it, I love Zooey Deschanel and M.Ward's beautiful pop songs. There's a certain innocence about them, and listening to this album feels like putting a warm blanket around me, it's comforting and uplifting and relaxing. Favourite song: "Over it Over Again"




FAVOURITE SONGS NOT ON THESE ALBUMS
(Otherwise top 5 would be just BRMC...)
1. Janelle Monáe - Tightrope
C'mon, JUST LOOK AT THIS. SHE IS THE MOST BADASS PERSON IN THE WORLD:



2. Micah P. Hinson - The Striking Before the Storm
This is such an incredibly lovely song, reminds me of why I love Micah's music so much. Micah P. Hinson and the Pioneer Saboteurs (it's my #6 album of the year) has some amazing songs, like "2's and 3's" and "My God, My God" and "Watchers, Tell Us of the Night", but none of them are as good as "The Striking Before the Storm".


3. Sarah Blasko - No Turning Back
I know that officially this album was released in 2009, but it wasn't released here till 2010 so I think I can count one of her songs! There's a bunch I love on As Day Follows Night like "All I Want", "Bird on a Wire", "Hold on My Heart" and "Lost and Defeated", but "No Turning Back" is my favourite, I think.


4. Sia - Stop Trying
What can I say, I'm just a sucker for a good pop song. And for Sia's voice.


5. Gogol Bordello - Sun is On My Side
Usually my favourite Gogol Bordello songs are the hyperactive ones you can jump to like a manic (especially Mishto!) but this song is just so simple and lovely.



FAVOURITE SHOWS
1. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Batschkapp Frankfurt [22-11-2010]
2. Shostakovich's Eleventh Symphony, De Doelen Rotterdam [19-11-2010]
3. Raskatov's "A Dog's Heart", Stopera Amsterdam [18-06-2010]
4. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Batschkapp, Frankfurt [23-11-2010]
5. Foals, Melkweg Amsterdam [29-11-2010]

Favourite poems pt.9

William Butler Yeats - Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Frankfurt adventures or Why it makes sense to see your favourite band in Schopenhauer's resting place.

Musica est exercitium metaphysices occultum nescientis se philosophari animi.
(music is an unconscious exercise in metaphysics in which the mind does not know it is philosophizing)

Originally I thought I would just write a pretty basic review going “omg omg omg they played Martyr and Annabel Lee and River Styx and I danced so much”, but that just wouldn’t even remotely cover just how much these past few days have meant to me. I know I get obsessive about music, I know it’s alienating to some, but I also know that there’s a lot of people who know exactly what it feels like. And it happens that one of the first times I read something that really resonated with me, was when I first came across Schopenhauer’s metaphysics of music. It was one of the first times (I can’t say first time, because that would’ve been when I read George Steiner’s Errata) that my obsessive love/feelings for music were explained in a way that made sense to me. And so, I find it incredibly fitting that I get to see the band that does this to me like no other (apart from Shosty, obviously) in the city where Schopenhauer is buried.

Something that has occupied me for as long as I can remember is the question of why I (and many other) experience music so much more intensely that any other art, what makes it different? What is it about sound that can somehow bring forth such intensity of emotion? Although I haven’t yet found an answer that I find completely satisfactory, Schopenhauer’s descriptions and explanations of the musical experience come close..ish. Because he acknowledges the fact (in my mind) that music is experienced more intensely than other arts, and he places it above other arts for precisely that reason. He tries to explain what makes music so different, but here his metaphysics come in and thereby also the impossibility of proving his theory right (which he actually admits). Still, I understand what he’s trying to say, and he has certainly been a massive influence on my thinking, and thereby on my life. Here’s some quotes that I like (all from the third part of The World as Will and Representation):

“[Music] stands quite apart from all the other [forms of art]. In it we do not recognize the copy, the repetition, of nay Idea of the inner nature of the world. Yet it is such a great and exceedingly fine art, its effect on man’s innermost nature is so powerful, and it is so completely and profoundly understood by him in his innermost being as an entirely universal language, whose distinctness surpasses even that of the world of perception itself, that in it we certainly have to look for more than that exercitium arithmeticae occultum nescientis se numerare animi [an unconscious exercise in arithmetic in which the mind does not know it is counting] which Leibniz took it to be.“


“[…] Where the aesthetic effect is the thing we have in mind, we must attribute to music a far more serious and profound significance that refers to the innermost being of the world and of our own self. […] That in some sense music must be related to the world as the depiction to the thing depicted, as the copy to the original, we can infer from the analogy with the remaining arts, to all of which this character is peculiar; from their effect on us, it can be inferred that that of music is on the whole of the same nature, only stronger, more rapid, more necessary and infallible. Further, its imitative reference to the world must be very profound, infinitely true, and really striking since it is instantly understood by everyone […]”


“[..] Music does not express this or that particular and definite pleasure, this or that affliction, pain, sorrow, horror, gaiety, merriment or peace of mind, but joy, pain, sorrow, horror, gaiety, merriment, peace of mind themselves, to a certain extent in the abstract, their essential nature, without any accessories, and so also without the motives for them. Nevertheless, we understand them perfectly in this extracted quintessence. Hence it arises that our imagination is so easily stirred by music [...]."

And this is precisely why travelling to see a band you love is worth it (especially if that band is Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, obviously). Because it's an experience beyond any other. Hearing songs like Martyr, Annabel Lee (I cried, couldn't help it), Beat the Devil's Tattoo, Half State, Ain't No Easy Way, Shadow's Keeper, Rifles etc. that is exactly what life is about. The high of hearing an unexpected favourite song (MARTYR) live, the anticipation of hearing good oldies (Whatever Happened to My Rock 'n' Roll, Berlin etc etc) that you know will make you smile and dance, the feeling that you are a part of something important, that is what gigs can give you. And of course, the feeling of community, the enjoyment of seeing hundred other people singing and jumping and dancing along, the finding each other in your love for music. Is there anything more beautiful? I think not. After the gigs I had this urge to hug everyone, but I was smelly and dirty and so was everyone else so obviously I didn't. But I can honestly say that nothing makes me feel happier than having experiences like those two gigs in Frankfurt. And no, I will never stop posting about how much music means to me, and no, I will not stop talking about Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. But I do think it's necessary to end this post with some BRMC music (assuming you have heard the ones I've posted here already). Put on your headphones, turn the sound up and close your eyes.


Beat the Devil's Tattoo (live)


Martyr


The Line


Rifles

Music.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been obsessed with music. My preference has certainly changed over the years and even though I cannot listen to some bands that I used to love anymore, I’d like to think that’s just part of growing up. And even with all of these changes, my love for music has not diminished, and I don’t think it ever will. I find it quite difficult to explain exactly why music means to much to me, mostly because I find that it goes beyond language. But still, I will give it a try, mostly because I sometimes fear that I’m alienating people by being so obsessive and not explaining things properly.

I could make this some sort of chronological account of what bands I’ve been obsessed with, but that’s not really the point. The point is that for me life is pointless without music. When I was younger this was not only because of the actual sounds, but also the feeling of a community, the feeling of recognition and acknowledgement, finding other people who are alike. Now that I am more confident in who I am, this community is still very pleasant but not so much a necessity anymore, even though I do still feel a great need to share music I love.

As someone who’s struggled with her body for as long as she can remember, music has often been the only medium through which I can actually feel and acknowledge my body. This may sound very abstract, but for a very long time I’ve thought of myself as a head, as thoughts and ideas, but not as a body (despite being aware of having one, feeling trapped). I therefore tried to avoid a lot of activities that reminded me of being a body, not the least of all those of the romantic kind. But music, music has always been a release for me. Whether it’s through dancing to bands or just moving like a spazz or just experiencing things, music is a physical experience.

My mind is always going on and on and on and on, and even though I don’t worry that much anymore and the thoughts aren’t negative, it can be exhausting sometimes. If I read a book, I play it over and over again in my head, if I read a philosophical article I’ll be thinking about it for ages. There’s so many decisions to be made every single day, and for some people it’s easy, but I tend to overthink everything. It’s therefore quite pleasant to not be thinking much at all. It’s why I enjoy watching tv and movies so much, I get to turn my mind of and have someone’s elses ideas entertain me. But most tv shows and movies are entertaining on a profoundly superficial level, and although they stop my thoughts, they don’t make me feel all that much (with some obvious exceptions like The Fall).

But music, music makes me feel everything. It makes me feel every inch of my body and makes me feel overwhelming love and sadness and pain and fury and happiness. There is nothing that makes me feel more (alive, perhaps) than a Shostakovich symphony or seeing Black Rebel Motorcycle Club live. Nothing that makes me feel more aware of myself as a body, yet also goes far beyond that, and makes me just feel. And there is no experience in this world more powerful or beautiful than that.

16 Horsepower

Back in 2000 I was watching Pinkpop coverage on TV and saw this:


American Wheeze

It gave me goosebumps and I was incredibly intrigued. I learned the band was called 16 Horsepower but kind of forgot about them, or maybe I was kind of turned off by the fact that they were religious (c'mon, I was an angry 14-year old!). So even though I never forgot their name, they remained in my list of bands-to-check-out-properly, and never moved to the bands-I-love. That is, until last year. I was in my favourite local record store and I was bored and wanted to buy something, so I decided to get some 16 Horsepower. I bought their live album Hoarse. I think it stayed in my CD player for about two months, and I must've played it twice every day. It was a proper musical revelation for me. There is something so incredibly intense yet creepy about their music, and I love David Eugene Edwards's voice so much even though he scares me. They are now definitely in my top 5 favourite bands and I think I listen to one of their albums every week (favourite is definitely Sackcloth 'n' Ashes).

I think it's a genre of music (apparently called "gothic americana") that is certainly not for everyone, as it's quite creepy and disheartening (but strangely comforting to me), and perhaps some people will not enjoy DEE's voice. But, to me they are one of the best bands ever. I wish I would've only realised this sooner so I could've seen them live. Anyway, here are some of my favourites songs by them:



Scrawled in Sap


Black Soul Choir


Beyond the Pale


South Pennsylvania Waltz (live)

They are also responsible for my favourite cover song ever: Joy Division's Day of the Lords. You'd think Joy Division were depressive and creepy, but they're Disney-material compared to 16 Horsepower (although I may be biased because I don't actually like Joy Division):



Enjoy!

Petrus Abaelardus aka King Bitch of the 12th Century.

I am so sorry it's been so long since I've written anything in here! I've been stressed out and distracted and busy with sorting some things out. I'll try and write here more regularely though. As I've probably said before, the point of this blog is really that I get to share things that I love. I think I'm quite lucky to be the kind of person that gets passionate about a lot of things, and who wants to share that passion. These things usually go in phases, but there's some constant factors, and one of them is Petrus Abaelardus of Peter Abelard, and this post is about him.

Obviously the love story of Abelard & Héloise is pretty well-known but that's not what I'm interested in anyway. I first really came across Abelard in one of my classes at Reading, about the twelfth century. It was by my favourite professor ever (Malcolm Barber) and I really didn't expect it to be as interesting as it was. But mostly I learned that Abelard was amazing and hilarious and that St. Bernard was the biggest bitch ever. I think I even wrote this on my written exam at the end of the year, haha. I ended up writing my thesis about him and although it wasn't a particularly great scholarly piece (god knows how I got a first) I did enjoy it so much. It was on his condemnation at the Council of Soissons in 1121, and whether or not it was a justified condemnation on grounds of his work (the Theologia ‘Summi Boni’) or if, like he himself said, people just had a grudge against him and therefore condemned this work. I obviously won’t go into details here because I don’t think it’s that interesting for everyone (it is for me though), but it is definitely one of my favourite topics that I’ve written on.

My absolutely favourite work by him is the Historia Calamitatum because it's basically "OMGZ EVERYONE HATES ME BUT I'M SO AWESOME EVERYONE IS SO STUPID" but cleverly disguised as something more intelligent. Like so:

"My own teaching gained so much prestige and authority from this that the strongest supporters of my master who had hitherto been the most violent among my attackers now flocked to join my school. [...] Within a few days of my taking over the teaching of dialectic, William [his former teacher William of Champeaux] was eaten up with jealousy and consumed with anger to an extent it is difficult to convey, and, being unable to control the violence of his resentment for long, he made another artful attempt to banish me."

[...]

"But the abbey to which I had withdrawn was completely worldly and depraved, with an abbot whose pre-eminent position was matched by his evil living and notorious reputation. On several occasions I spoke out boldly in criticism of their intolerably foul practices, both in private and in public, and made myself such a burden and nuisance to them all that they gladly seized on the daily importunities of my pupils as a pretext for having my removed from their midst.”

[...]

“When it become apparent that God had granted me the gift for interpreting the Scriptures as well as secular literature, the numbers in my school began to increase for both subjects, while elsewhere they diminished rapidly. This roused the envy and hatred of the other heads of schools against me; they set out to disparage me in whatever way they could, and two of them especially were always attacking me behind my back […]”

Obviously his arrogance is pretty annoying, but I don’t think he was that far off, really. Although he was very much a thinker of his time, he was an extremely intelligent one and I have no doubt that he influenced many many people, as he still is doing now! For me one of the things I love most about my degree(s) is that I learn so many things that I start being passionate about. I am hoping to do more medieval philosophy/theology one day so I can study Abelard even more intensely. In the meantime, I hope I've at least made some of you interested in him! I can recommend lots of books, but I think that the Historia Calamitatum is the only "fun" (non-philosophical/theological) read, howeverrrr, M.T. Clanchy wrote an amazing book called Abelard: A Medieval Life which teaches you lots about Abelard as well as the twelfth century in general, and it's an easy read.

Numbness.

I spend quite a lot of time watching TV. Admittedly a lot less now that I'm busy/studying again, but it used to be my most common past-time. Partly this is because there's tv shows that I absolutely LOVE, and that make me feel happier. But perhaps just as often, unfortunately, I just get glued to the screen and spend hours watching things that I don't even particularely like. And I know that I'm not alone in this. I think some of the most popular tv shows are just popular because no one really cares about them either way, you don't care enough to turn away, and when you come across it you sort of keep watching. But the more I think about it, the more this saddens me.

Similarely I am online a lot. And again, this is partly because there are sites and blogs that I love, but mostly I just spend my time browsing and reading things I don't even really care about. Hours can go by without feeling anything, just clicking and clicking and reading this and that not caring. It scares me how easily I can go on automatic time-wasting pilot when on my computer.

The worst life I can imagine is one filled with boredom. Thankfully I don't get bored easily, so I don't think this is a fate I'll have to fear. But perhaps it's just as bad to spend a life consuming things you don't particularely care about, things that don't make you feel anything. When you love or hate something, it gives you energy, it gives you a will to live, it makes you feel alive, it gives meaning to life. I identify myself by the things I love and hate, the easiest description of myself would be saying that I love Shostakovich, my bunny, the sea, dresses, Arnulf Rainer, Robert Levon Been, loud music, philosophy and Lee Pace, and that I hate misogyny, Geert Wilders, Mozart and willful ignorance. Among other things, obviously there's a lot more. These are all a part of who I am, they are important to me (the love much more than the hate, but I think that goes without saying. I dislike the word hate anyway, I think I strongly dislike a lot more things than I hate. Too much hate is toxic).

So why, if I can enjoy things very intensely, do I still spend time watching all these random things that make me feel nothing? I don't know. Part of the reason why I started this blog is so that I can focus on things I love, and pay more attention to them, and try to share the love with others, but I think I have to be more serious about this. And therefore I have promised to myself that I will not spend any more time watching/listening to/reading numbing things. Instead I will focus my time on educating myself and on doing things I love. Because my life is too short and too important to waste.

Favourite poems, pt.8

Gerrit Achterberg - Thebe
Met leven toegerust voor beiden,
liep ik vannacht de gangen in,
die naar u leiden.
Het ondergronds geburchte droeg
een stilte, die met tegenzin
mijn tred verdroeg.

De muren stonden als verzadigd
van ruige schimmel; lucht en licht,
voorgoed beschadigd,
beten mij uit; de wil alleen
bij u te zijn in 't jongst gericht,
hield mij ter been.

Het labyrinth verliep in schroeven
van eender, blinder cirkeling.
U ten behoeve?
Ik weet niet meer hoe lang ik ging.
Hoe brachten zij, die u begroeven,
zover een ding?

Totdat mijn voeten op u stuitten:
uit een volslagen duisternis
zag ik uw ogen opensplijten;
uw handen, die ik niet kon tillen,
voelde ik langs het leven strelen,
dat in mij sloeg;
uw mond, in dood verholen, vroeg.

Een taal waarvoor geen teken is
in dit heelal,
verstond ik voor de laatste maal.
Maar had geen adem meer genoeg
en ben gevlucht in dit gedicht:
noodtrappen naar het morgenlicht,
vervaald en veel te vroeg.

Micah P. Hinson

In 2004 American singer-songwriter Micah P. Hinson released Micah P. Hinson and the Gospel of Progress, and this is still my absolute all-time favourite album. There's always a risk and usually dissapointment involved when you love an artist's first album so ridiculously much. For me personally his albums since then (The Baby and the Satellite, Micah P. Hinson and the Opera Circuit, Micah P. Hinson and the Red Empire Orchestra, All Dressed Up and Smelling of Strangers and Micah P. Hinson and the Pioneer Saboteurs) have let me down a little. But only a little, because every single one of his album has amazingly good songs, and I still play all of them regularely. There's an undeniable charm to his music, but it's also very intense and emotional. You can hear that he puts his soul into his music and this works really well with his incredible talent as a singer, guitarist and song-writer. (He has also recorded the only Beatles cover ever that I can listen to, they usually make me want to throw my stereo out the window.)

I didn't see him live until 2005 or 2006 I think, it was in London (somewhere in Camden) and it was just him and some guy on mouth organ. I was seriously blown away, because Micah has one of those voices that apparently doesn't record well, live it's even more beautiful and even more powerful. He's also pretty damn charming. For some strange reason I've only seen him live 3 times even though he's been around here more often, but I was always ill or had no money or had another stupid reason. This october he is playing The Netherlands again, in Groningen and Ottersum. Both of these places are reeaally far away from me so I'm afraid I'll probably miss him again but I cannot stress enough how AMAZING this guy is live and how you will NOT regret seeing him. Honest!

Here are some of my favourite songs;

From Micah P. Hinson and the Gospel of Progress:

Stand in My Way


The Day Texas Sank to the Bottom of the Sea (a long one but SO GOOD)

From Micah P. Hinson and the Opera Circuit:

Diggin' A Grave (starts after 15 seconds)


Don't Leave Me Now!

From Micah P. Hinson and the Red Empire Orchestra:

When We Embraced

From Micah P. Hinson and the Pioneer Saboteurs:

2's and 3's

From the Yard of Blonde Girls 7":

Yard of Blonde Girls (Tim Buckley cover)

(Youtube is slightly dissapointing right now as I can't find two of my favourite songs one there; "The Day the Volume Won" and "The Striking Before the Storm". But I uploaded The Striking Before the Storm here.)

Classical concerts.

I go to quite a lot of classical concerts. I love a lot of classical music and seeing it live is absolutely uncomparable to listening to records/cds. However, as a young person I often don't quite feel at home at these concert halls. The ones I've frequently been to are the Queen Elizabeth Hall in London, De Doelen in Rotterdam and the Concertgebouw in Amsterdam. I know the buildings by heart, I could sleepwalk my way there, I know what the acoustics are like, I have favourite conductors/performers everywhere, but still there's always a certain feeling of discomfort.

A lot of this is to do with the fact that about 80% of people who go to these concerts are over 50, white, and dressed up (although moreso in Amsterdam than in Rotterdam and London). It is such an elitist place in so many ways, and I don't like it. Because with it comes the association that these concerst are expensive (both London and Rotterdam usually have cheap tickets, and the Concertgebouw has really cheap ones for young people), that the music is boring/only for old people (modern classical music is unbelievably exciting and LOUD) and that you get frowned upon if you walk in with just jeans and a t-shirt. The strange thing is that I love dressing up and often dress up on "normal" days but whenever I go to a classical concert I feel the need to wear trainers or motorcycle boots or anything else that screams "CASUAL". I don't want to be uptight and fit this mold. I want concert halls to become like regular venues, I want people to move along to the music, I want them to relax, I want them to wear whatever they feel like wearing, I want non-white and young people to feel welcome and comfortable in these places, I want these concert halls to be for people of all backgrounds. Will this ever happen? I don't know, I really don't. I try to do my part my encouraging more young people to go to the Concertgebouw in Amsterdam, and by educating my friends about classical music and how exciting it is. And then maybe one day going to the Concertgebouw will be just like going to the Paradiso.

But I will say this, one of the things that I do appreciate at classical concerts is that no one talks while the music is being played.

And here's some exciting music for your enjoyment:

Nietzsche.

I currently feel slightly incapable of writing a proper new blog entry, because all that's on my mind at the moment is BRMC and I already did a post on them. But at the same time I know that when someone doesn't post on their blog regularely enough it loses momentum and readers. I don't doubt that I'll have some inspiration soon, but in the meantime I will leave you with this:

“Honesty would lead to nausea and suicide. But now our honesty has a counterforce that helps us avoid such consequences: art, as the good will to appearance. […] As an aethetic phenomenon existence is still bearable to us, and art furnishes us with the eye and hand and above all the good conscience to be able to make such a phenomenon of ourselves. At times we need to have a rest from ourselves by looking at and down ourselves and, from an artistic distance, laughing at ourselves or crying at ourselves; we have to discover the hero no less than the fool in our passion for knowledge; we must now and then be pleased about our folly in order to be able to stay pleased about our wisdom! And precisely because we are at bottom grave and serious human beings and more weights than human beings, nothing does us as much good as the fool’s cap: we need it against ourselves - we need all exuberant, floating, dancing, mocking, childish and blissful art lest we lose that freedom over things that our ideal demands of us.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science

Favourite poems, pt.7

Denise Levertov - Variation on a Theme by Rilke
A certain day became a presence to me;
there it was, confronting me--a sky, air, light:
a being. And before it started to descend
from the height of noon, it leaned over
and struck my shoulder as if with
the flat of a sword, granting me
honor and a task. The day's blow
rang out, metallic--or it was I, a bell awakened,
and what I heard was my whole self
saying and singing what it knew: I can.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

Photo by Juri Hiensch

If you would just know me through this blog you would probably get the impression that I only listen to classical music. But as it happens Shostakovich is somewhat of an exception because although I love classical music, I spend most of my days listening to non-classical stuff. Somehow I find it much harder to write about, maybe because I am convinced that everyone should love Shostakovich but acknowledge that with non-classical music there's perhaps more room for subjectivity. In my head anyway. But despite all this I decided that it's about time I do a post on Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, the best band in the world right now (see, subjectivity!).

I bought their first self-titled album around the time it came out and loved it, especially Rifles, As Sure as the Sun and Red Eyes and Tears, and it's been in my cd player quite regularely since that time. I was kind of stupid though, and didn't realise just how much I loved them and therefore didn't buy their second or third album until a few years later. Realising my mistake I tried to quickly catch up and bought Take Them On, On Your Own, Howl, Baby 81 and then of course The Effects of 333, the live album and Beat the Devil´s Tattoo (my favourite of theirs!) as soon as those came out. I love every single one of these albums, apart from The Effects which just kind of confuses me, really.

What is it that I love about them? Well, first and foremost I am just entirely and completely in love with Robert Levon Been and his amazing bassguitar. Some bands rely on melodies, some rely on noise, some rely on rhythm, but BRMC, for me, rely on the bass. As a (rather average, admittedly) bassplayer this automatically makes me happy, but it's not just that. As a listener I mostly respond to low sounds, I dance along to the bass, I am just a bass-y person I guess? And I'm not trying to discount Peter's and Nick's and also Leah's contributions to the band, but it's just that for me Robert is absolutely essential. I think I might have a to do a blog entry on his basslines to be honest. But this is not that entry.

This is about their songs and their music and their unquestionable passion. I've seen a lot of bands live, and most of them I really enjoyed, but there are very few that are as intensen as BRMC. In fact, I might say that they are the most intense live band I have ever seen (perhaps Simian during their Chemistry is What We Are tour were just as intense). This intensity is an almost entirely physical experience, but it's also the feeling of there not being anything in the world at that moment apart from their music. An aesthetic experience pur sang perhaps.

But that's enough talking. Listen to some songs:

From BRMC:


Red Eyes and Tears (live)

From Take Them On, On Your Own:


Suddenly

From Howl:


Weight of the World

From Baby 81:

Killing the Light

From Beat the Devil's Tattoo:


River Styx



Aya



Annabel Lee (live)


I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.